Chipping Away at the Soul of Me

Intercept page 66 titled, "AfterHours"
I try reaching
, but there is nothing to grasp to hold on to. I see myself falling down this dark hole that’s only getting wider and appears to be bottomless. The more I try

to relax and break this fall the more I feel myself slipping even more. I just keep falling and the more I do I realize I won’t be coming back it’s so deep and dark. This hole appears to have no end, but the deeper I fall the more my entire life flashes before me and all the while I see the things that appears to have brought me happiness only brought me pain. I don’t seem to remember how I got here I only think the hours in the daytime didn’t allow me to fall because I had many responsibilities that would consume my mind and drain all my energy. But for some reason, I am not afraid of falling down this hole. I see scenes from my life. I see images of my childhood the things that were given and also, the things that were taken away. Yes, I am afraid but I am awakening to all the things that has transpired in my life and landed me here flat on my back.

 

 

 

 

 


Intercept page 40 titled," Loose Me"
So I could free myself
from all that’s holding me behind. I sometimes carry around a lot of weight and it’s so over whelming at times it causes my heart to ache. Don’t judge me by these words that I speak only judge me by the person that you meet. I want to fly high in the sky and explore all before I die. Is it wrong for me to want to put all my cares a side and not have to hide this injured woman inside just let all of me open up wide? I don’t want to have to live my life as is I want to live and do things at my own free will. I want to give to those that are in need and continue with sowing my seeds. I want to help feed those that are hungry and spend time with the forgotten ones that are lonely. We are all striving to reach the top but when will enough be enough and will we ever stop and figure what is life really all about? Have you ever had a strong desire to learn how to truly love someone other than yourself? Not focus on you as much or your wealth? To truly love someone we have to put all our fears aside and allow them to gain entrance deep down inside.

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Intercept page 33 titled, "God Put Out This Fire"
My blood was rushing
like a river flowing over a steep waterfall. My heartbeat was racing at such a fast beat unknown to mankind. My skin was on fire like the flames of a ruptured volcano. The burning sensation I felt throughout my body created chill bumps all over my skin I can feel the sharp piercing deep underneath within. I have never felt quite like this before, I love it and hate it all at the same time. I tried so long to do things my way, but I had to learn that it's God's way or suffer the consequences. I tried only listening to myself and making my own decisions. It really didn't matter who got hurt in the process of my life choices and decisions. I was only seeking my own satisfaction. It is in the nature of the flesh to always want its way, but following the will of the flesh gets us into trouble every time. I dug a hole for myself and I really don't have anyone to point the finger at or blame for my behavior. I was on a mission, searching but I did not find. Timerhttp://www.facebookloginhut.com/facebook-login/ TimerTimerhttp://www.facebookloginhut.com/facebook-login/

 


Intercept Introduction of "Cried My Last Tears"
I am losing my way
and I do not know how much longer I can stay. I have come to a dead-end road and there seems no turning back for me. I am living in Hell and many can not tell, because they all have this perception of me. They do not seem to understand that I have a desire to be set free. but, this strong and powerful addiction has a hold on me. I am sure there were so many other choices I should have made, but some of the choices were made for me. Why did I not have the strength to allow these cravings to fade? Many people tried to help me, but these drugs and addictions had a stronger hold on me. I tried telling myself this life is just not meant for me. When I look in the mirror all I possess is this lifeless body you now see. I am lost in this pit of living Hell and I am tired of wearing this mask afraid to reach out and tell. Timerhttp://www.facebookloginhut.com/facebook-login/ TimerTimerhttp://www.facebookloginhut.com/facebook-login/

 


Intercept page 10 "Hurts So Good"

How could he make a joke out of this? It seemed like my soul dropped out after reading that letter. Pain rushed into each and every part of my body like a steel knife piercing inside. I knew things had drastically changed between us, but this I must admit was a little beyond my thoughts. My heart just could not handle the pressure I was feeling and it appeared as if all my wind left my lungs. I could not breathe and I started gasping for air. All of a sudden, I fell on my knees to the floor. I had never experienced such pain throughout my body. I sat crying out for my Father’s touch to heal me with His gentle hands. Psalms 69:1-3 Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no standing; I have come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me. I am weary with my crying; my throat is dry; my eyes fail while I wait for my God. Love is not supposed to cause this type of pain within your heart, mind and soul. How could he just walk away and leave me in this state? Why wouldn’t he allow me to love him, comfort him, build him, walk with him and be at peace with him?

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Intercept of "Fallen 2 Stand"
I look and see images
of me
and I could barely see myself because, I have all these attachment on my body. I am carrying other people problems and concerns around with me and worried about their welfare, when majority could care less about mine. You would think I am some type of sculpture someone designed because I am so weigh down with a lot of meaningless things. Then it’s as if someone steps in front of me and started removing the attachments to lighten my load but, I’m still falling. I began to see reflections of my face it’s bright and cheerful but, than I see another image which appears to be my soul it’s dark and empty. I began to shed tears feeling sorry for myself, because I was wondering just how did I get here. It was if I had a news flash, I looked again and all these people and their weight were pushing me farther back. Somehow I was so consumed with their lives and trying to do things to make them happy with me. I stopped loving me the way I use to. I began to feel my mind with doing less for me and more for others. I find myself trying to force things that no longer fit or suit me anymore. I assumed everyone would began to look as me as a failure or a quitter if I tried to walk away from those meaningless things. What they thought and how they felt began to matter more to me than how I felt. I knew something was terribly wrong with feeling that way but, I tried making adjustments and sacrifices and even excuse for things being the way they are. I can’t allow myself to keep falling and reaching when no one is there to hold my hand anymore. Timerhttp://www.facebookloginhut.com/facebook-login/ TimerTimerhttp://www.facebookloginhut.com/facebook-login/



Intercept of "Never Give Up"
This book is based on the conviction
that each of us has the ability to improve our lives and behavior regardless of our past mistakes.

Inner change is hardest of all, for it starts with the humbling realization that you have created the life you are living, and only you have the power and the responsibility to get the life you want. Making small changes in your outlook and behavior can have an enormous impact on your ability to get to the heart of the matter and live the life you truly want and long to live. You only have one life to live. Don’t settle for less than you deserve in life. Visualize yourself working towards and achieving your goals and your mind will continue to work to make it happen. Learn to leave past mistakes behind and make better choices to turn your life around. Don’t allow anyone to stop you from living your dreams and achieving success. Childhood joys have become non-existence due to all the violence that we all encounter today. Pain and sorrow fills the faces of grieving families and parents. How do we reach beyond ourselves and find a solution to stop the violence and killings that are taking place in our schools? How do we prevent the fear of tragedy from invading our lives and homes? How can we prevent our hopes and dreams from withering away? Acting only on feelings and emotions shows neither discretion nor intelligence. If you are not careful, you can end up spending your life behind bars or buried in someone’s cemetery at a very young age. What choices are you making today for your future? What voices are you listening, too? Timerhttp://www.facebookloginhut.com/facebook-login/ TimerTimerhttp://www.facebookloginhut.com/facebook-login/

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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